until the purple blossom is trodden in the ground.

the very thought of you, my love

an introduction

welcome to my... weird little corner, i guess! so, im not good at a lot of things, but since i know kind of how to code, i decided to make a page dedicated to my wonderful girlfriend, lulu! we have been dating since june 12th, 2019! lulu makes me feel soft and happy and amazing and has... sparked feelings in me i didnt know i could feel. shes my princess, my sun, my moon, my stars, my sky! so, here, im making just a little page dedicated to her and our relationship. the playlist to the right is one i made for her and myself (i listen to it when i miss her haha). please enjoy!

how can I go on dear, without you?


i met lulu in late may 2019 when we joined a roleplay! we have the same friends, we just never met each other before then. the second i met her, i thought she was really funny and talented and i always had fun doing stupid stuff on calls with her. we had a joke going that we were married. however, i dmed her on discord with a random picture and we haven't stopped talking to each other since! turns out she is really funny and talented, but also kind and caring of her friends. shes so very passionate about her interests and is the most hardworking person i know. all of her friends admire her! shes always working to be better and she really is the best person i know. she makes me happy to be a lesbian, cuz i get to be in love with her! we also have a lot in common, so i can always be very open with her and laugh with her and always have an amazing time with her... she is what keeps me going and what inspires me!

there is nothing for me but to love you


this serves as a little corner full of media and images that remind me of her, or us in general. click the images for sources!

(heathers 1998)

texts from friends

lulu isn't just an amazing person to me, but to all of her friends. here are some messages from them.


lulu is literally one of my bestest friends ever!! we've known eachother for so long it's kind of crazy. she's so absolutely wonderful!! she's talented in so many ways, she writes so beautifully with ease, she's extremely funny, and i know she's a talented gamer girl. also queen of theatre!! i love her so much and she's been more of a mom to me than my actual mom. even though she's younger than me!! and i think that's very funny. she's so caring and she always checks in on people to make sure they're okay. she's very selfless, and i think she deserves the best. i love writing with her and talking to her and playing games with her so much lulu my friend lulu!!!


i love you so much lulu hi!!! ive always really, really admired you. you’re like, one of those people i could tell was really cool right off the bat. like.. you just seemed like a very chill and nice person and through every interaction we’ve had and even just being in the same gcs as you thats been proven time and time again. i love seeing you in prggers and i love talking to you and im really happy that we’ve been able to spend some more time together with rps and stuff. youre just lovely!!! and also super funny.. and thoughtful.. and very cool.. i feel like i could ask you about anything.. like gaming.. or reddit campfire stories.. youre one of my best tangerine friends.. i would give u one if i could materialize in the US!!! HAPPY 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!! i love you and ardy very much!!! you both deserve the world and more ♡♡♡♡♡


umm.... i love lulu a lot. i dont know why you asked me you know im not goo with my words. she's just one of the most lovely people ive ever met in my entire life. it's like she's been my sister since the day i was born and i know she always has my back dude. idk. she's just someone i can always trust and rely on and even though i'm not as particularly active as i used to be she always tries to reach out to me and keep conversation with me. kind of saved my life. i adore her she is so funny and incredibly good and vidya and i would have no one else as my sister. lulu if youre reading this youre gay


LULU QUEEN OF EVERYTHING. Hi Lulu! When Arden first added you to the server I was so excited, and I STILL AM BECAUSE YOU’RE WONDERFUL. I was so ready to be Arden’s epic wingman but I didn’t need to be, cause you and they had that shit on LOCK. You are literally perfect and you deserve the world and Arden is gonna chop it up with a knife and serve it to you on a platter AS YOU DESERVE!! When I think of you, I think the first thing that comes to mind is your epic writing. It’s literally so epic and sexy and frankly I think we should get rid of the Bible and replace it with an omnibus of all your writing. It’s what you deserve. Anyway stan Lulu for clear skin and a fortnite battle royale win


oh lulu.. well i can remember when i first met lulu and i instantly knew she was funny and had a great, caring personality in general. and now ive known her for quite a few years and the original statement still stands; shes funny, kind, caring, and polite. shes always been a good friend and im sure she always will be, and im glad to have met her.


LULU... OH LULU I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN. i know we don’t talk a whole lot yes i know but when we do i feel so grateful and so happy to know that i have someone as wonderful as you in my life, and so does everyone else. i’m happy to know that you’re here with us and that even when there’s not a whole lot of interaction that we have someone as genuine as you with us. I GET SO HAPPY WHEN WE TALK AND WHEN I SEE YOU TALK IN THE GC YOURE JUST SO FUNNY and smart and talented you really just do manage to complete everything somehow. and now that we’ve been talking more i am so so so genuinely amazed with how creative and talented you are it’s unreal like you speak and i’m kind of left in awe. i know i’ve been rambling quite a bit lulu but i don’t want you to think i’m just spitballing words here i want you to know, completely genuinely, that i mean this from the bottom of my heart. getting to speak to you has been such an honor and i can’t wait to see what you have in store to surprise us with in the future. :]


I guess i don't know what else to say but thank you for always being there for me in major ways when i needed it most; even though it's been a while since something like this has happened i haven't forgotten how much you helped me and overall how great of a presence and influence you are in general. playing games w you and just hanging out and shit is always a beautifal time that i wouldn't trade for anything and would love to be able to do more often, and i hope you enjoy it as much as i do. please continue to take care of yourself and take it easy when you need to homie, and know you'll always have a friend in me click for an image splash drew her!!

bask in her special love once again

poems for her

Wild Nights - Wild Nights!

emily dickinson

Wild nights - Wild nights!
Were I with thee
Wild nights should be
Our luxury!
Futile - the winds -
To a Heart in port -
Done with the Compass -
Done with the Chart!

Rowing in Eden -
Ah - the Sea!
Might I but moor - tonight -
In thee!

For the Courtesan Ch'ing Lin

wu tsao

On your slender body
Your jade and coral girdle ornaments chime
Like those of a celestial companion
Come from the Green Jade City of Heaven.
One smile from you when we meet,
And I become speechless and forget every word.
For too long you have gathered flowers,
And leaned against the bamboos,
Your green sleeves growing cold,
In your deserted valley:
I can visualize you all alone,
A girl harboring her cryptic thoughts.

You glow like a perfumed lamp
In the gathering shadows.
We play wine games
And recite each other's poems.
Then you sing, "Remembering South of the River"
With its heartbreaking verses. Then
We paint each other's beautiful eyebrows.
I want to possess you completely–
Your jade body
And your promised heart.
It is Spring.
Vast mists cover the Five Lakes.
My dear, let me buy a red painted boat
And carry you away.


audre lorde

Coming together   
it is easier to work   
after our bodies   
paper and pen
neither care nor profit
whether we write or not
but as your body moves
under my hands   
charged and waiting   
we cut the leash
you create me against your thighs   
hilly with images
moving through our word countries   
my body
writes into your flesh
the poem
you make of me.

Touching you I catch midnight   
as moon fires set in my throat   
I love you flesh into blossom   
I made you
and take you made
into me.

One Girl


Like the sweet apple which reddens upon the topmost bough,
Atop on the topmost twig, — which the pluckers forgot, somehow, —
Forget it not, nay; but got it not, for none could get it till now.

Like the wild hyacinth flower which on the hills is found,
Which the passing feet of the shepherds for ever tear and wound,
Until the purple blossom is trodden in the ground. made
into me.

a lady

amy lowell

You are beautiful and faded,
Like an old opera tune
Played upon a harpsichord;
Or like the sun-flooded silks
Of an eighteenth-century boudoir. In your eyes
Smoulder the fallen roses of outlived minutes,
And the perfume of your soul
Is vague and suffusing,
With the pungence of sealed spice-jars.
Your half-tones delight me,
And I grow mad with gazing
At your blent colors.

My vigor is a new-minted penny,
Which I cast at your feet.
Gather it up from the dust
That its sparkle may amuse you.

To Althea, from Prison

richard lovelace

When love with unconfined wings
Hovers within my gates,
And my divine Althea brings
To whisper at the grates;
When I lie tangled in her hair
And fettered to her eye,
The birds that wanton in the air
Know no such liberty.

When flowing cups run swiftly round,
With no allaying Thames,
Our careless heads with roses bound,
Our hearts with loyal flames;
When thirsty grief in wine we steep,
When healths and draughts go free,
Fishes that tipple in the deep
Know no such liberty.

When like committed linnets I
With shriller throat shall sing
The sweetness, mercy, majesty,
And glories of my King:
When I shall voice aloud how good
He is, how great should be,
Enlarged winds, that curl the flood,
Know no such liberty.

Stone walls do not a prison make,
Nor iron bars a cage:
Minds innocent and quiet take
That for an hermitage.
If I have freedom in my love,
And in my soul am free,
Angels alone, that soar above,
Enjoy such liberty.