all i see before me. all i wish, all i feel. my thoughts are booming. and i dream, and i witness. may my mind be occupied, by the bittersweetness of life. may i manifest emotions, and embrace physicality.

...and, if your heart was ever so kind. never stop dreaming.



the seventeenth.

 sorry for the lack of updates on here and in general... just havent been that inspired and ive been busy with Life Stuff

 so... summer ended for me. senior year started thursday! you know, im taking so many classes that i actually enjoy, im making time for art... also APES seems lit as hell, i get out 2 and a half hours early. im gonna work more, which im excited about. i worked a lot this weel (actually writing this between work stuff, so you know how it is.) this year is gonna be fucking epic and itll be the best of my public year. im glad. last 2 years kinda fucking sucked.

 i got 3 houses. you know, i never liked fe that much in the first place, but i really really LOVE the split style gameplay thing it has going on. im really taking my time with it LOL, i have 9 hours and just started chapter 4 so... you know how it is. im in love with ferdinand and sylvain cuz i fall in love with shitty boys. i both love and hate dorothea cuz she reminds me of myself. oh, im in black eagles for my first playthrough. im pretty sure ill do all the routes.

 oh, and i was thinking up some more ideas for the site. since we finally moved, i wanna dig up all of our game stuff. however, i really want it to be organized cuz i want to make a wishlist and stuff we need (i also... may do a ps2 rpg collection cuz i love spending money). im not sure how im gonna do this, but i think i might use something on here. at least to display stuff. though, im gonna need to know whether we have cases, manuals, game system, etc etc and short by genre and stuff and make the wishlist. even if ill make it digital or handwritten, or both. not sure yet, ill do more research in the mean time of other peoples organization stuff.

 i just wanna do more with this site basically but i Got No Ideas :^/

 oh! it was me and lulu's 2 months this monday. i adore her, im glad ive been able to talk to her more. im always missing her like crazy anatole has the looks of ferdinand and the intentions of sylvain. i am in love with all of them.

the eighth.

 i was supposed to post this yesterday but i didnt so thats why it says the 8th lol

 today was good... its the only time from my dads surgery till at least sunday where im able to go out. i woke up early, talked to lulu which is always nice. my grandparents picked me up, and we went with my baby cousin to get papers for their new house signed while i watched over my cousin. he wasnt bad or anything, so it was nice. though someone asked me if i was him mom which was... well. you know. then we went to cheddars, the food there was really good and i had this really nice strawberry lemonade... it was excellent. we went to their house, and my grandma gave me a blacklight and a lava lamp i still need to try out.

 i got home and my clothes came in too!! theyre really nice and i love them a lot i really am glad i feel like myself now.

 today we talked a lot about the future. my grandma said i could go down to the house she owns in guatemala for my 21st with some friends and ngl thatd be pretty lit. lulu and i talked about what we want in our apartment together. dont tell her i said this but.... i kinda hated thinking about the future before her cuz it was so uncertain and everything but. well. at least i know i have her and shes all that i need.

the fifth.

 this weekend was really good. saturday i went shopping with my dad and sister at the mall, and it was super fun!! we saw a lot of cute dogs too... andre got a new dog named noodle and shes the cutest. ive been talking to lulu a lot about dogs aaa... but yes clothes shopping was successful! i got converse platforms and just regular gray ones and some cute bottoms and tops. i also ordered stuff from f21 today which should be here in a few days and hopefully look good. honestly, im really happy about it which might be stupid but i finally feel like im dressing like Myself i guess... which is weird. considering how cutsey my site is, youd be surprised that im like... emo/goth haha i dont really act like it but i like dressing like it. oh, i painted my nails for the first time since like, 3rd grade too!

 lulu came home saturday too!! i missed her so much we talked all day sunday which made me really happy since we havent done that for 3 weeks. to say she makes me happy is an understatement.

 dads surgery is today. hes actually out right now... i hope it goes good. its not too bad, its outpatient but i still worry a lot over him. me and my friends might play minecraft today, and meg said she want to play smash which im excited about. i love my friends really dearly.

  heres my most fuckboy outfit, with the mirror i was talking about from last time

the second.

 ....ah. so i finally made the journal page. took forever to get around to doing it. anyway, i spent a lot of time fiddling on this page, but i think im finally happy with it. i really have to take time just to find assets.

  also, to those you who have followed, thank you so much! it means a lot to me, i love everyones pages on here and mine looks just Eh but im learning! everyone on here is an inspiration.

 so... not much happened today. let me tell you about yesterday! i went with my sister to voice lessons, and while my dad and i were waiting, we went by walmart. ive been helping him with house stuff so he got me smash and a full length mirror which ive been dying for since we moved. after i got home, i got to playing smash and i have to say, i like it a lot more than i thought i would. i played with kevin and kris for a bit. samus is a lot of fun, and i just love her and her games. i think ill get joker too, as i am stupid crazy for persona/smt.

 then, today, i watched spop season 3. its... probably my favorite season so far, it was really good and i can tell the animation is getting better. snal and i talked about it a lot, and lulu said she wants to see it with me. speaking of lulu, shes coming home tomorrow which im really excited about. i missed her like CRAZY, shes been gone really long and ive just wanted to talk to her. i cant wait to play smash with her, shes really good :'//